Everyone, even the most fortunate person, will have some difficult and upsetting challenges to face in their lives. You won’t want to go there again any time soon! 

It seems logical that to avoid a repeat of a horrible experience, you should always be on the lookout for such potential risks and think about it daily, to keep yourself safe. Maybe even run videos in your mind of it happening again, and coming up with plans to prevent it. This could not be further from the truth. Rather than keeping you safe, this strategy can actually make things worse. 

The truth is that the more you think about it and the more you focus on it, the more anxious you become.  As you think about what you don’t want and make pictures in your mind, your body responds with  the matching emotion. 

In addition to your increasing anxiety, the Law of Attraction is now working against you. Thoughts and feelings have an energy component, a frequency or vibration which is measurable with scientific instruments.  Everything has a vibration – sounds, words, thoughts, music, colours, plants, animals and even inanimate objects. 

When it comes to vibrations, “birds of a feather flock together”. Or in other words “like attracts like”. Everyone knows this even if they don’t recognise it. Who do you like to hang out with? People that you have something in common with? They have the same vibe? When a relationship comes to an end, you no longer “resonate” with them. It’s all about energy. 

A simple demonstration of this truth can be made with a piano and a guitar. If you play a note on the piano, the strings of the guitar will begin to vibrate and play the same note. 

Thinking and talking about what you don’t want generates matching negative emotions such as fear, sadness, anger, guilt, frustration etc. These emotions all have a low vibration. If you think and talk about what you do want, you feel matching positive joyful, loving emotions, which have a high vibration. 

“Wherever your focus of attention goes your energy flows”

So what will happen if you think and talk endlessly about regrets in the past, or fears in the future? “If only I had a better start in life. I’ll never succeed because I had a terrible childhood. I’m just unlucky. Everything has gone wrong for me in the past and so it will in the future. I just can’t win.”

If the majority of your thoughts are negative like this every day, you will have a low vibration most of the time. According to The Law of Attraction, you will draw to yourself experiences, circumstances and situations that are of a like vibration.  It will not necessarily draw to you the exact experience you want to avoid, but just experiences that will cause you to feel the same low vibration. i.e. things you don’t like. 

Have you noticed that if you get up in the morning in a bad mood, it is likely to set the tone for the day. You stub your toe, spill the coffee and can’t find your keys!

Because you are not a vibrational match to any positive experience that you desire, you are pushing those things that you want, and that would give you pleasure, further and further away from you. 

Knowledge is power. This knowledge gives you the mind hack you need to avoid what you don’t want. IF YOU DON’T WANT IT, DON’T GO THERE. Yes it’s counter intuitive, but giving your energy to anything helps it to grow. 


  1. Acknowledge and accept the existence of the unwanted experience (don’t deny or suppress it). It just is.
  2. Take any positive learning from it. 
  3. If you didn’t have this in your life, what would you have instead? 
  4. Choose what you do want and be a vibrational match to that instead.
  5. Spend more than 51% of the time thinking about what you want now and in the future, and what you are grateful for now and in the past. 

Published by christalvibes

Psychologist, Hypnotherapist, Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner, Emotional Freedom Technique Practitioner. My blogs freely share some of the most valuable lessons I have learnt from a lifetime of study, and a career, based on hypnotherapy and energy healing. I have also learnt many things from my life experiences and above all from the fascinating subconscious minds of thousands of my clients. I hope that you will find some nuggets of wisdom that will help guide you to become the very best version of yourself.

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