HOW TO REPLACE A LIMITING BELIEF WITH A SELF AFFIRMING BELIEF

As Napoleon Hill said “Our only limitations are those we set up in our own minds” 

Based on the experience of my clients, that quote is absolutely true.  Yet it is not a new discovery. Napoleon Hill, one of the original personal success writers, was writing about this in the early 1900s. 

This blog follows on from my previous blog about the number one block to self healing.  It is best to read that first if you haven’t already, as it explains how we acquire limiting beliefs, what they are, why they resist detection and removal, and what you need to know to remove them anyway. With that understanding in place, you will then be ready to identify any limiting beliefs – we all have them –  and powerfully substitute self affirming beliefs. 

IDENTIFY A LIMITING BELIEF. 

What are you blocked from achieving? What are your thoughts and feelings around what you are lacking ? What are you telling yourself? You will know. Finish these sentences as quickly as you can.

I could do it, if only I had…….?

I can’t succeed because….  

I mustn’t take risks because ….

x…..is not available to me and that makes me feel……

What do you need more of to feel you can achieve your goal? Confident enough, smart enough, worthy enough, attractive enough, loveable enough, strong enough, talented enough, self belief, freedom from guilt, self esteem…..? Our limiting beliefs show themselves in the harsh critical thoughts we use about, and to, ourselves, and the words we use to berate ourselves. Some of the most common limiting beliefs that our inner thoughts show us, are about lack of self love, feeling different and so unable to fit in, or a conviction that what you want is not available to you. 

With a bit of introspection and becoming more aware of your self talk, you can identify those specific limitations you have set up in your own mind. Now consider how long you have been repeating these thoughts and ideas to yourself. It will no doubt be long enough to have made strong neural connections in your mind –  it’s hard wired in and fires automatically. It’s your normal, familiar thought pattern and as you think the thought your feelings and behaviour matches it.

Once you have identified a limiting belief, question it? Challenge it. Does it make sense? Do you really believe it is true today? You are completely free to choose what to believe. But you will never have control over the consequences. Does holding on to this belief get you what you want? You must decide now if you want to keep this belief, or change it. Maybe it was appropriate once, but now it is obsolete, redundant and irrelevant. If it no longer serves you, decide to let it go. Limiting beliefs often achieve nothing at all apart from shutting you off from your full potential and the happiness you deserve. In order to let go of this belief you must make a 100% commitment to eradicate and delete it. Powerfully state with unshakable conviction that you reject that limiting belief as untrue and it is therefore unable to influence you in any way.

CHOOSE YOUR SELF AFFIRMING BELIEF TO REPLACE THE LIMITING BELIEF

Once you know what your limiting belief is you can flip it and find the self affirming belief that will negate it.

For example, instead of “I can’t risk making a mistake ”, substitute “Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. If I make a mistake, I am forgivable as soon as I make amends and learn not to repeat it.” Instead of “I can’t cope”, say “ I have powerful creative coping strategies.”

Instead of the words you use to limit yourself, think of the praise you wish you had heard growing up. What words of encouragement were you missing? You are amazing. You are so clever, so funny. You are such good company. I am proud of you. You are loveable. You are talented.  You belong. You are special. I’m here for you. I will never let you down. I’m glad you are in my life. You are valued. You are appreciated. … etc. It’s time to become your own best friend and praise yourself. Limiting beliefs are often the result of hurtful, critical words used to discipline a child.

MAKE YOUR LIMITING BELIEF UNFAMILIAR, AND YOUR SELF AFFIRMING BELIEF FAMILIAR

Now you are ready to make the old limiting belief unfamiliar and the self affirming belief familiar. The new familiar self affirming belief is then hard wired in and will fire automatically, instead of the old belief.

Think of it like this. A fox takes the same route every day and gradually clears an open pathway through the overgrown weeds and brambles. The fox run is now a quick, safe and familiar path to get from A to B, so it’s the automatic, habitual option every time. When the fox abandons that area in favour of better hunting grounds, the path soon grows over and is gone without trace. 

In just the same way, when you make the old belief unfamiliar, through disuse because you don’t believe it anymore, the neural pathway that used to activate it fades away and is gone. Not only that, the more you focus on your new self affirming belief, the stronger its neural connections become and it eventually replaces, overwrites, the old belief. It becomes the only option in your repertoire and fires automatically every time. You have made the self affirming thought pattern your comfortable, familiar, new normal. The old belief is removed, deleted, gone and you can’t get it back.

To help you create your own personalised, applicable self affirming beliefs, do an online search for inspiring quotes and self development affirmations. Create the right ones to cancel your particular limitation and then repeat them to yourself every day. Write them on post-it notes and stick them where you will see them, on walls, mirrors, desks. Make a recording of yourself repeating all your positive statements and listen on repeat. The subconscious mind learns by repetition. The more repetitions you hear/see the faster you will reprogram your mind. 

Also remember that your subconscious mind (your programmable device that runs you) doesn’t care whether what you say is true or not, right or wrong, good or bad, helpful or unhelpful. It doesn’t matter if your conscious mind objects that a statement is not true for you (yet). If you want it, do it anyway.  Your subconscious mind will accept and act on whatever you tell it, without judgement. If you say it enough times it will feel true and it will become a new self affirming belief for you. 

Does that seem too easy? Unlikely to work? Well it is exactly the mechanism you will have used to create the limiting belief in the first place. You experienced something, such as your Mum shouted at you for making a mess, you decided what that meant, such as “ no one likes me because I always make a mess”. You kept thinking it, and it became a limiting belief. Often your limiting belief was a misinterpretation or misunderstanding and was never true. But in any case, since you created it, you can change your mind and wire in a better belief instead.

First you make your beliefs and then they make you. Take responsibility for programming your own mind. Remove the limitations, replace with self affirming beliefs, self empowering beliefs, self accepting beliefs and be the person you are meant to be. 

‘Your beliefs are yours to make … and yours to change.’

Christine 💜