DISCOVER THE NUMBER ONE BLOCK TO SELF HEALING – delete it and start your healing journey

If you have been following my previous blogs and you are still going nowhere, you have reached a brick wall, or you are going round in circles, this blog may be for you.


On one level all healing is self healing as it cannot proceed unless we allow it. Of course no one is going to intentionally block their own healing, but this does commonly happen unwittingly. 

Knowledge is power and an understanding of this block can be the essential first step to open the door to successfully applying personal change or healing strategies – whether for physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual healing.

Any state of unwellness can carry with it some uncompromising beliefs and matching states of mind that perpetuate the problem. Examples might be “ I’m overweight because all my family are big boned “. ” I’m always stressed because of the traumatic experiences I’ve lived through”. “ I’m full of hate because of the dreadful way they treat people”. “ I can’t change because I’ve always been this way and it’s a habit”. “I want to stop worrying but I’m worried something bad will happen if I do”. “ I’ve tried everything and nothing works”. “ If I’d had a better childhood, I would have been more successful and have a better life”. “I’m not good enough”.

If these stuck states of mind continue, this will block healing. They are clearly in conflict with what you want. A change to a new positive expectancy of mind is required that will support the healing desired. 

“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function”. F. Scott Fitzgerald

Not having this important ability is what blocks many people from even beginning on the journey of change and healing. To move forward they need to be able hold the prospect of that desired positive future in their mind, even though it conflicts with their current beliefs, without accepting it or rejecting it immediately, and being able to consider the information with an open mind. 

Instead, something stops them from even listening to any evidence to support the notion that they could actually change in the way they desire. The concept of the desired outcome only generates doubt, disappointment and resignation due to the belief that it is not available to them.  Thinking about the possibility of improved health or happiness is resisted as it is too painful. In fact the mind may not let such conflicting information in.  Any ideas from others that oppose the current negative belief just aren’t comprehended. It’s as if they are talking another language. 

Our perceptions become our reality, and as long as we accept our current disempowering beliefs as fixed and unchangeable, then we cannot change either ourselves or our external reality. All we can do is try to cope with the limitations. In order to heal ourselves, we must change our perceptions and beliefs. 

I agree that a certain  “intelligence” is required to be able to consider an opposing healthier belief in order to potentially accept it . But the good news is that it is just a particular  ‘knowledge’  that is required and I am going to share it with you now. 


The stuck states of mind that are tenaciously holding on and blocking change are clearly negative disempowering, limiting beliefs.

How are limiting beliefs created? Any belief, positive or negative, is anything that has been repeated, over and over and over again – because when this happens it will eventually be accepted by the subconscious mind as true, whether it is or not.  Unfortunately we are often making decisions that become beliefs at a very young age when we have no business to be making such life changing decisions. A child for example does not have the experience to know that the crisis was not their fault and it was never appropriate to feel guilty. The unfortunate consequence is a belief that making a mistake is not acceptable, and so it is difficult to take risks or make decisions. 

Negative and traumatic experiences can be misunderstood/ misinterpreted by a child, resulting in a mistaken negative perception of themselves and their world. The resulting mistaken belief causes you to always act as if it is true. Just consider the impact on someone’s life if they always have to act as if this limiting belief is true: “I can’t trust myself to get anything right”. 

When I asked a client how many times he had said to himself during his childhood: “ l’ll never amount to anything”, he replied: ‘Hundreds!’ He had programmed himself with a very limiting belief, which was just from accepting a significant adult’s unjustified rebuke. Unsurprisingly, he was not making good progress with his career.


It is important to understand the subconscious mental programming that runs us automatically. Our minds are like biological computers that can be programmed with ‘software’ which will continue to do its thing until it is deleted and updated, or overwritten.  Our beliefs create our programs and limiting beliefs create limiting programs that block conflicting ideas and change. 

Apart from causing you to behave as if the limitations of the belief are true, subconscious programs that are based on limiting beliefs, particularly when they have a self-protective role, have a kind of firewall around them because it is not considered safe to delete them. This resistance to removing or changing the program can be observed playing out when we see anyone whose beliefs are challenged becoming angry with the messenger and refusing to hear them out. It’s as if they cannot, must not allow that ‘dangerous’ information in. To prevent that, they usually shoot the messenger. 

They have become comfortable with their limiting belief, even if it’s a childhood misperception or someone else’s flawed belief. As long as the programming is unchallenged, it has become an integral truth about self and any opposing idea feels like a personal attack. It is therefore often resisted with anger and perceived as a hurtful lie. However in my experience with clients, this familiar ‘comfortable’ limiting belief is actually a hurtful misperception, whereas the truth is self affirming and infinitely more comfortable. In this case, contemplating the opposing idea and, changing your mind, isn’t dangerous at all. 


Of course we are being programmed all the time, by our societal and cultural norms, our authority figures, etc, and also by ourselves as we give meaning to our experiences. Certain of these beliefs were solidified not by logical analysis and conscious acceptance, but through nothing but being exposed to constant repetition of the belief itself. 

Through constant repetition alone, we can accept beliefs of others without question, and we can create a limiting belief ourselves by misinterpreting a difficult childhood experience. These beliefs are not backed up by any supporting or accurate information. The programs that are based on beliefs with no evidence behind them, and no conscious understanding, are often particularly resistant to change, even though they don’t stand up to scrutiny. 

When you ask yourself where a particular belief came from, what evidence you have for the validity of the belief, you often find yourself unable to say anything other than “ It just feels true.” or “ That’s the way we’ve always done it in our family, company, culture”. The new wife cooking her first holiday ham cut off the end of the leg just as her mother and grandmother did, before putting it all in the roasting dish. Her husband asked why she did that. Did it make it cook faster or make it more tasty?  She didn’t know so she asked her mother. She didn’t know either so they asked the grandmother, who said she had always done it that way as it didn’t fit in her roasting dish otherwise. 

This story convinces me of the wisdom of Socrates’ famous quote: 

“The unexamined life is not worth living”. 

Socrates encourages us to consciously choose and validate our beliefs, and live the life that fulfils us, rather than just following the crowd or tradition. This is important, because our conscious mind is responsible for choosing and writing the subconscious programming that runs us. 


Now you understand that the block to making the change that you want is caused by a subconscious program, running a limiting belief that you chose, or allowed in without question, which includes the belief that change is not possible, or safe. It has no choice but to prevent change by sabotaging your efforts to change or heal. You feel as if you are being controlled by a puppet master pulling your strings. It ensures that you always act as if your limiting belief is true. You accept your limitations, and you therefore cannot, must not let go of the limiting belief, or achieve your planned new goal. Any attempt to do so must be stopped at any cost. If you believe that ‘I can’t trust myself to get anything right’, it makes sense that, to keep you safe, you must not do anything at all!  If you let go of the limiting belief you might try and achieve your goals and accidentally cause a terrible catastrophe.

The strategies the puppet master uses are inventive and very effective. You might have noticed that if you don’t back down, the resistance gets harder to ignore. First, shooting the messenger stops you considering any conflicting information and risk cancelling the program. Secondly, strategies to curtail your behaviour to keep you safe seem like coincidences until there are just too many of them. Every time you plan an activity to move towards your goal, you get a headache, stomach ache or a cold, you oversleep, you lose your voice, you lose your keys, you forget the appointment, you get an unsightly sore on your face, or ‘something else’ unexpectedly crops up and you have to cancel. Discouraging thoughts pop into your head. There isn’t time to go to the gym today, you can always go tomorrow – but tomorrow never comes. This is not the right time. I’m not ready. When I feel stronger. When I have more energy.  Conscious willpower is no match for the relentless subconscious program. It’s exhausting. 

So very many obstacles and failures are put in your way that it is relief to finally give up and the puppet master wins. And the puppet master will keep on winning for as long as you let it. But knowledge is power and now you know what is blocking you. 

You cannot solve a problem if you don’t know what it is. Now you understand that the puppet master is a part of you, like a member of your team that has been given a specific role – by you, even unconsciously or unwittingly – and it will diligently keep on doing that job 24/7 without ever letting up. It feels like it is your master and you must obey. But you created it and therefore you are the master and you can change your mind and give it a new role. 

The puppet master is dedicated to its role, and its intention is to support and protect you. It is loving, has your best interests at heart and wants you to be happy.  However, when you decide it’s role is now redundant, it reacts as if it’s very existence is under threat. Of course it’s not, as it is a part of you and you can’t delete parts of you. It’s up to you to go within and talk to yourself and ensure the puppet master (actually called your protective ego) understands this.  It doesn’t have to redouble it’s efforts to hold on to the flawed and obsolete program to preserve its existence. It can be reprogrammed with a new empowering belief and help you become who you are meant to be and enjoy the benefits of that change. 


If you have read this far and this makes sense for you, then you have already begun to overcome the block. The first step towards deleting the limiting belief is awareness. As soon as you are consciously aware that a limiting belief has created a subconscious program that is acting like a puppet master controlling your behaviour, and preventing any alternative information from entering into your awareness, it has already lost a lot of its power.  Old, outdated subconscious beliefs that are unfounded, obsolete or irrelevant today can have no influence over you, once you know they are there.  You have the power to re-decide your beliefs from a better informed perspective.  Now that you are aware of this you can never un-know it. The game has changed. 

The real you, your authentic self, knows that the old belief is not true, that it’s not you, and wants to move on and express your true self. This part of you, the conscious part that wants to change, is the real goal setter. The subconscious part that acted like your puppet master is meant to be the goal getter following the orders of the goal setter (you)..This is just the way we are wired.  Your subconscious ‘puppet master’ was actually following your programming and blocking your progress, according to your limiting belief.

Choose to take your power back and cut the ties ( instructions ) to the puppet master that kept you dancing to its tune. Accept that you are the computer programmer of your own mind, and give your protective ego a new role. Give it new, clear unambiguous instructions and self affirming beliefs to follow. Delete and overwrite those old outdated beliefs. Your protective ego is a powerful dedicated part of you, so decide on a new role for it that will support your goals. Unlike the conscious mind it stays focused on the goal without getting distracted. It functions automatically and doesn’t quit.

The door is now open. This is just the beginning. Now you are free to fully contemplate, with an open mind, the positive future that you want, and follow whatever healing or personal change techniques you are drawn to, without the saboteur blocking you. This time, you can make them work.  Through knowledge and understanding the ‘puppet master/ saboteur’ becomes your ‘powerful ally’, working together in harmony to achieve your dreams.  

“ Be sure to consciously choose and validate your beliefs. 
First you make your beliefs, and then they make you. .”

 Christine 💜

Published by christalvibes

Psychologist, Hypnotherapist, Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner, Emotional Freedom Technique Practitioner. My blogs freely share some of the most valuable lessons I have learnt from a lifetime of study, and a career, based on hypnotherapy and energy healing. I have also learnt many things from my life experiences and above all from the fascinating subconscious minds of thousands of my clients. I hope that you will find some nuggets of wisdom that will help guide you to become the very best version of yourself.

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